Servicesbecoming authentically you
When did life start feeling so empty?
Maybe it always has? You can’t remember the last time you felt happy. You’ve been walking a tightrope: authenticity on one side, masking and masquerading on the other. You long to be seen and known, really known, but the mere thought of that makes your stomach flip. And you don’t even know where to begin. You wonder how someone can really know you if you barely know yourself.
You show the world what you want them to see, or what you think they want to see, but on the inside you feel like a different person. You feel disconnected, on the outside looking in with your own life. Maybe you cycle through an endless loop of comparison and self-criticism. You analyze every single thing you said during that exchange and beat yourself up allll the way home.
Or you keep opting for the things that feel familiar and come easy to you. Keeping busy, working harder, chasing the next accolade (even though you won’t trust it anyway), seeking refuge behind the veneer of perfectionism.
Or maybe you shape-shift into whoever the person in front of you wants and needs you to be. Keeping others in the spotlight, shrinking yourself, swallowing your voice, thinking as long as you keep prioritizing others you’ll surely find the security and connection that’s alluded you until now. Only to wake up and discover you’ve built a life around the counterfeit you, not the real deal.
And the resentment builds. The disconnect deepens. The loneliness abounds.
The books and the influencers and the cutesy signs tell you to love yourself, but what the fuck does that even mean??
how it works
So how does it work? Where do we begin? Do you talk and talk until the space is filled up with your words? Does everything always come back to your parents? Are you supposed to cry? Do I tell you how to fix your life?
Well for starters, therapy will be a lot messier than what others let on. And healing and self-discovering are definitely not linear. Think switchbacks through the mountains rather than a wide open country road.
Therapy begins with relationship. We start as strangers: You not yet knowing if you can trust me, me with my gentle curiosity.
But as unfamiliar as it feels, as much as you feel like you’ve got Bambi legs, you’re committed to figuring this shit out. So, we sit together.
Settling Into Therapy
We’ll start slow, creating a space together that feels like yours. Building trust brick by brick, intentional every step of the way to ensure our relationship is one where you feel safe to peel back the masks as you’re ready to do so.
I’ll ask questions you haven’t considered before, and maybe some you have dared to ask but haven’t slowed down to really be with. I’ll challenge you, but maybe not in the ways you think you need (cue compassion and curiosity). And I’ll listen, actually listen, without judgment or half-baked solutions.
The dimensions and directions our sessions take really just depends on where you’re at and what you need. It will be frustrating at times, validating and comforting other times. Some sessions will end with a bow on top, most will end with loose ends. This is a journey after all.
You’ll settle into this once unfamiliar relationship and actually start to feel seen. We’ll get into a solid rhythm moving between safety and risk, and continuing to strengthen the trust between us. You’ll begin to feel subtle shifts. And as this process unfolds, it’ll invite us into new layers. Remember those switchbacks I mentioned before?
The Messy Middle
This is the inspirational-movie-montage part of therapy. Except it’s not over in two minutes. And it’s gritty. You’ll wonder why in the world you signed up for this in the first place. Because if we’re being real…
- Feeling your feelings is easy to talk about but harder to actually do.
- Taking an honest look at your life and who you are takes a whole lot of courage.
- Moving through painful parts of your story is heartbreaking at times.
Healing is a whole-hearted endeavor. Confronting the pain. Conceding to the joy. Coming back to life…healing is worth it, and it’s wild. But I’ll be there holding hope for you, journeying through the fog with you, reminding you of what lies ahead around the bend.
And although healing will ask so much of you, you’ll do it. Because that’s just who you are: someone with courage and grit, someone who believes deep down that you’re worth whatever it takes to fully occupy your one and only life.
And little by little you’ll:
Discover how to accept your limitations.
Embrace complexities and leave the land of certitude.
Learn how to take up space and be seen.
No longer be dependent on earning, producing, and achieving.
Feel less terrified by imperfection, maybe even be grateful for it.
Develop an inner voice that’s kind instead of cut-throat.
Become someone who can tolerate being with yourself, being with your emotions, just being.
The Unexpectedly Expected
After some time of winding through the non-linear switchbacks of healing, seemingly unexpectedly you’ll notice all these things you’ve been trying on in therapy don’t feel so unnatural anymore. Your once shaky Bambi legs feel sturdier and steady.
You’ll feel the change, unsure how to put words to something that feels completely life altering but in a strangely ordinary way. Your heart and mind feel wide open in a way that feels new, but safe.
Maybe you’ll laugh, or shake your head, or cry, bewildered by the undeniable differences. It’ll feel like magic. And in some ways it is. But it’s also a reflection of every single brutal and beautiful and hard-won step you took to come home to yourself. To rediscover the goodness that’s been true of you all along. You’ll actually know (and like!) the person you see when you look in the mirror.
And you’ll realize (or maybe I’ll point it out), this is it: You’re learning how to love yourself.
Who Is Ready
You are likely ready for therapy at Fio if…
Your usual systems for coping, compartmentalizing, making meaning, and moving through your life are no longer serving you in the ways they once did. And you have just enough courage to acknowledge that reality.
Your intuition nudges you toward the path of feeling, while your mind cautions you to the dangers of getting in touch with all that lives within.
You’re ready to live alive, which means allowing yourself to be open to pain, pleasure, and everything in between.
You’re willing to confront painful questions and experiences, embrace new things, and invest both your time and heart into exploring the depths of you.
Who Isn’t Ready
Therapy at Fio may not be for you if…
You aren’t willing or able to prioritize diving deep into what’s happening in your inner world and discover ways to heal.
You’re insistent upon figuring everything out solo and can’t get beyond the fear of letting someone else journey with you.
You aren’t yet in a place to make the mental, emotional, and financial investment in yourself.
You aren’t willing, and even yearning, to make some real changes, try new ways of connecting with yourself and others, and get curious (instead of critical) about what’s happening in your brain, body, mind, and soul.
transform your life
You feel deeply but don’t really know what to do with your feelings. They feel overwhelming, either in their intensity or because you’re not sure how to make sense of them. So you’ve developed systems and strategies to cope, compartmentalize, and carry on no matter what.
Despite what shows on the outside, there’s a hollowness at your core. You don’t feel seen and known. You don’t feel happy. Frankly, you feel pretty lost.
Relationships are a minefield. As much as you want to feel deeply connected to those around you, you hold yourself at a distance. It’s scary to put the masks down, and you’re not so keen on possibly sabotaging your carefully crafted counterfeit self by letting others in.
You ignore the signals on the dashboard of your life: the feelings, the symptoms and cues in your body, the hopes and desires. It’s too risky to want because that could lead to disappointment. It’s too risky to need because it creates an opportunity for others not to come through for you. Or to judge you. So you resign yourself to a life of independence.
You fear that showing up authentically in your life will end with everyone leaving you, and will confirm the lies you believe about not being enough, being a fraud, or not doing anything meaningful with your life.
You feel equipped to feel deeply and fully. You don’t fake feelings anymore. You’re able to navigate your way through understanding your emotions, expressing them in authentically (even the hard stuff), and letting others be responsible for their own emotions.
You have discovered how to befriend the protective layers and parts of you that have showed up through numbing, compartmentalizing, keeping others at arms length, and endlessly criticizing yourself. Armoring up happens from time to time, but it no longer runs your life. You have a newfound sense of harmony within your inner world.
You accept and receive (dare I say even believe) encouragement, kindness, and positive feedback. And you can handle constructive feedback instead of it sending you into shame-spirals.
Relationships feel richer. There’s a newfound safety and security that comes with authentic connection. You’ve traded in fitting in for belonging.
You’ve discovered ways to take the pressure off of yourself. You’ve discovered how paradoxical self-compassion and self-love are, letting them lead you into more joy and productivity in your life.
You don’t hide and shrink yourself anymore. You trust your voice and use it. You laugh loud, set boundaries, let safe people really see you. You still show up so well for others, but no longer to the detriment of yourself.
Life feels brighter, clearer, lighter, connected. And not in a way that demands you overlook the heartbreaking realities of the world. Somehow the two can coexist now.
You discover there are infinitely more questions than answers. And for what seems like the first time in your life, uncertainty isn’t a foe but a friend. There’s room for nuance, mystery, and not having everything figured out.
therapy for the
Perfectionists, people pleasers, high achievers, + deep feelers
As frustrating and exhausting as anxiety is, it is rooted in your protection. Whether anxiety is an echo of your past, connected to the big questions you have about yourself and the world, or a reflection of the systems and societal constructs you live within, we’ll tune into what’s happening below the surface and explore alternate ways of supporting your system to deal with difficult experiences.
Trauma impacts everyone differently, yet there are many similarities: feeling a sense of overwhelm, aloneness, defectiveness, and like life can never return to how it was before. Whether you notice trauma affecting your relationship with others, with yourself, or the level of safety you feel moving through the world, we’ll create an individualized pathway forward that honors where you’ve been while empowering you to thrive.
The one thing that’s most consistent in the human experience is change. So why do we feel so unprepared each time life turns upside down again. And why is it so hard to like yourself? The inner turmoil and harshness you experience are relentless, and you can’t take it anymore. I got you. I am not intimidated by the hard and scary questions about identity, setting boundaries, navigating life transitions, or breaking free from the not-enoughness that haunts you.
Everything feels heavy and hopeless. What’s the point, you wonder. And when you’re not feeling defeated, you feel numb. Things that used to bring joy to your life feel flat instead. You’re not sure, but something tells you maybe it can get better. And I know it can, I know there’s hope, and I know how to navigate this with you. We’ll look depression square in the face and befriend it. In doing so, we’ll explore what’s underneath, while resourcing you every step of the way.
Career transition and dissatisfaction
LGBTQIA2S+ exploration, trauma, and challenges
Finding beauty again after divorce, breakups, or relationship endings
Living with chronic health issues (you or your oved ones)
Religious trauma, deconstruction, and development
Transitioning into parenthood
Body image and embodiment
Frequently Asked Questions
let’s do the damn thing
I’m here to help you cultivate a life you love
- Stop overthinking and step into freedom. Book your free 20-minute intro call.
- Bring whatever remaining questions you have to our call. I’ll have a few of my own, and we’ll connect a bit to ensure we’re a good fit.
- If we are, we’ll get your first session scheduled. If we aren’t, I’ll recommend trust colleagues who may better align with you.
Take the First Step
Having the right therapist join you on your healing journey can make all the difference.
Schedule a free 20-minute discovery call to determine if we’re the right fit.